This post is written for Cadbury 5 Star #CONDITIONSERIOUSHAI contest organised by Indiblogger
Sarcasm on some people is as wasted as expensive sunglasses on King Dhitrashtra.
This happened during my first Kali puja in Kolkata. I had dressed up for the occasion in an elegant saree, jewellery and my hair, then longer and more curled than what it is today, lusciously swaying around my shoulder like they show in shampoo advertisements. (Ha, I just murdered modesty.)
So, there I was flaunting myself in the pandal where the goddess Kali stood when a few women from the complex walked up to me. After a round of introductions the conversation went something like this:
The women: You know you shouldn't be keeping your hair open like this, especially not tonight.
Me: Erm, why? What's wrong with tonight?
The women: It's Kali puja, amavasya (no moon) night.
The women: If you leave your hair open today the ghosts are likely to catch hold of you.
I started at them astounded. I then took a deep breath and told myself, "they can't be serious; they have to be kidding!"
I grinned at them and asked, "whose ghost?"
They looked at me in bewilderment. I realised then, ki condition serious hai.
I suddenly turned towards the Kali idol; turned back towards the women and spoke in a tone dripping with sarcasm, " I wonder why they do not tie Ma Kali's hair".
They fumbled for a moment but obviously did not get the sarcasm. They then started explaining to me how, because Ma Kali was a goddess, she could fight the demon and the ghosts.
I guess I had had enough of them by then. I sharply turned to them and said slowly and softly in a hoarse voice, "And I kept wondering, last year, on Kali puja night... when I died... I kept wondering, what was it that killed me. Now. I. Know."
I then gave a menacing laugh and walked away with my eyes still fixed on them. (Luckily I didn't trip.)
Well, they haven't really made any conversation with me since then.
Their condition was serious, I guess I just made it a little more serious that night.