Sunday, February 23, 2014

Caught by a ghost



This post is written for Cadbury 5 Star #CONDITIONSERIOUSHAI contest organised by Indiblogger


*****


Sarcasm on some people is as wasted as expensive sunglasses on King Dhitrashtra.

*****

This happened during my first Kali puja in Kolkata. I had dressed up for the occasion in an elegant saree, jewellery and my hair, then longer and more curled than what it is today, lusciously swaying around my shoulder like they show in shampoo advertisements. (Ha, I just murdered modesty.)

So, there I was flaunting myself in the pandal where the goddess Kali stood when a few women from the complex walked up to me. After a round of introductions the conversation went something like this:

The women: You know you shouldn't be keeping your hair open like this, especially not tonight.

Me: Erm, why? What's wrong with tonight?

The women: It's Kali puja, amavasya (no moon) night.

Me: So?

The women: If you leave your hair open today the ghosts are likely to catch hold of you.

I started at them astounded. I then took a deep breath and told myself, "they can't be serious; they have to be kidding!"

I grinned at them and asked, "whose ghost?"

They looked at me in bewilderment. I realised then, ki condition serious hai.

I suddenly turned towards the Kali idol; turned back towards the women and spoke in a tone dripping with sarcasm, " I wonder why they do not tie Ma Kali's hair".

They fumbled for a moment but obviously did not get the sarcasm. They then started explaining to me how, because Ma Kali was a goddess, she could fight the demon and the ghosts.

I guess I had had enough of them by then. I sharply turned to them and said slowly and softly in a hoarse voice, "And I kept wondering, last year, on Kali puja night... when I died... I kept wondering, what was it that killed me. Now. I. Know."

I then gave a menacing laugh and walked away with my eyes still fixed on them. (Luckily I didn't trip.)

*****

Well, they haven't really made any conversation with me since then.

Their condition was serious, I guess I just made it a little more serious that night.

28 comments:

  1. Spook those kookies! :D
    I can really imagine you doing that! :P

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  2. LOL, I have got these kind of comments too, Diptee di :) Loved reading the post :)

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    1. :D Now you know what to do next time, right? Thanks, Sayantani.

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  3. Lol!! I guess its universal experience!

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  4. hahahaha..my grandmother does this. Do not venture out of home late riht with your hair open. Chudails get into women with open hair :P

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    1. :D Grandmothers are excused. They are allowed to do this. Nosy neighbours aren't.

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  5. They caught me early, when was still a little boy, these ghosts! :| I too could never tie my hair back - whatever I did, I could never manage them myself.. I know how it feels Diptee di, I've been in those shoes.. o.O And I thoroughly enjoyed your retort.. #VoteForAbsolutelyWackyComments

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    1. Erm... whatever that means, Deeptiman. :D Thanks anyway.

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  6. Wonderfully written. And your sense of humour is improving manifold :D

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Parama. Thanks again. :D

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  7. Opening statement was a blast. Enjoyed thoroughly. As far as the anecdote goes.....Bhat:D!

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  8. You're touch of humor (that tripping part) is brilliant !

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  9. You write so well, Diptee di :)) I wish I could write half as well as you do... ^_^
    Sorry took me so long to comment... :P
    Good luck with the contest!! I hope you win ^_^

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    Replies
    1. ...And this comes from a published author. :D
      Thank you so much!

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  10. Nosy, close-minded and annoying neighbors should be all transported to an island and should never be allowed to come back where normal people live.
    Kudos for giving them the taste of sarcasm, although not sure if they even got it.lol

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    Replies
    1. I agree.
      I am quite sure they did not get it. :D

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  11. Lol. You are very funny.

    Where is the end if we start listening/obeying to what these people say?

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    Replies
    1. Hey, thanks. Seriously, if we end up listening to them all we will end up being crazy!

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