Monday, March 10, 2014

A rant about nothing in particular; a secret let out and the most vague post with the crappiest title ever.

If I ever have to go through the records (if such records do exists), I am mighty sure we (my maternal house) would be recorded as the last house on the planet to have owned a cable TV connection. Serious.

Which is why when I came across this picture on Facebook that said "if you remember this, your childhood rocked" and I saw people commenting about how cool the show was and how they even remembered the show timing, I, kind of, freaked. That picture meant absolutely nothing to me. The immediate thought was - Oh my God! My childhood sucked!

Taking a deep breath, (realisation: I take more deep breaths than normal breaths these days. I guess that is linked directly to the increase of grey hair on my head.) I started googling about the picture. It said that the show used to be aired on cartoon network at 4:00 pm in the year 1993.

1993...? Seriously...? And so many people had cable connection then...? It kind of shocked me for a moment. The shock then turned to nostalgia as I remembered the first time we got our cable connection. It was in the year 2000 (you may stop smirking now and get reading).

In the year 2000 we got our cable connection. The same year my niece was also born. Now you must be thinking - here she goes again telling us stuff that had no connection whatsoever. Well, that's what this post is all about. Read the title of this post again. But, this time around there is a connection between us getting cable TV and my niece being born.

Because my niece was born around the same time, my mother had to go attend to my sister in another state. Ha! New cable connection and me alone at home during the day. Can you even imagine my luck? It was like akeli ladki khuli tijori jaisi hoti hai. Fine, that comparison had no connection. That was like the worst comparison ever in the history of comparisons; but I just love that akeli ladki... line and I hate history.

Anyway you know what I mean - I was here home alone with a newly installed cable connection. I would rush home from college every afternoon, freshen up, heat up my lunch and sit with it in front of the television. I would make myself comfortable, hold the remote control at an angle and press the power button to switch on the television. I would then get myself glued on to watching... well... erm... Fashion TV...

(At this point I know many of you would write me off as a sick pervert and never visit my blog again.) 

There, I just shared my greatest secret with you. But I decided to let you guys know this because you have been those awesome folks who have been reading all the crap that I have been writing for all this while.

Why I watched FTV then, is beyond my understanding as well. I have absolutely no idea why watching extremely skinny models playing peekaboo with their assets, as I ate my lunch, intrigued me so much.

Seriously, I wouldn't watch FTV today if someone gifted me a truck load of Nutella with a promise that licking on it all day long would only make me lose weight and look awesome. (Okay, with that promise, maybe I would) Now, I would any day prefer watching... (Ha! I am not revealing THAT. The last thing I want is my moral science teacher from school to read this, kill herself, get buried and turn in her grave.) But FTV was my lunch time companion for all those weeks when my mother was away.

Sometimes I seriously wonder if they always knew what a rascal their daughter was and hence delayed getting cable connection. Maybe they did.

But what I do watch a lot on television these days is 'Baby TV'. Yeah I know what you are thinking - she is a mother of a toddler; she obviously watches Baby TV with her kid. True. But then there are numerous days when I realise that Ri has gone to bed or to another room to play and I have been watching Baby TV for hours alone. And when I say watching, I mean watching and not daydreaming.

I guess this is what they mean when they say 'life balances itself ultimately'.

Talking of life balances, yesterday on International women's day, I realised that I have sported the boho look (Boho is my newest favourite word) for a long time now and I should probably start working on looking hot and glamorous. That, I realised this on International women's day, is purely coincidental. I again know what you are thinking - oh she is so hot already, why does she have to work on looking hot. That, my dear readers, is very kind of you, but this picture of mine on the blog is extremely deceptive. Many a men have lost their heart to me after seeing this blogger picture and sent me a "will you do friendship with me" mail.

Well, anyway, by hot, I meant I will seriously work on my looks. I will dress up well, wear pretty jewellery, use makeup and adorn classy accessories. I decided to go shop for some junk necklaces. For some weird reason the colour yellow was stuck in my head that day. I started my quest to find a yellow neck piece. I searched all of Gariahat but I couldn't find any. Can you believe that? Entire Gariahat and not a single yellow necklace! Frustrated I picked up something I know I would never wear. No, I didn't pick it up. I was forced to pick it up.

If there is something that I just cannot do it is arguing. I just cannot argue. Anyone, absolutely anyone can win an argument against me. I totally suck at putting my point across. 

So I walked to this shop and was rummaging around through the collection of necklaces. There was one that I picked up not because I wanted to wear it but because it was kind of funny. I tried to bargain and fixed on a price with the guy. I opened my purse to pay when the guy said that I need to pay him a hundred rupees extra. When I asked him, why, he said there was one pendant that he thought would look awesome on me and hence he had packed it up for me already. (He thought that it would look awesome on me? seriously?) When I asked him to show me what it was, he brought out a metal dragonfly.

The funny pendant and the weird dragonfly

I seriously wonder why. I told him I wasn't interested to which he said he had already packed it. When I tried to argue that I did not like it, he said that I did not understand fashion. As I started at him aghast he shoved the packet in my bag and spread out his palm for the currency. I shook my head in exasperation, gave him the money and walked off saying something as lame as "if I wear it and it does not look good I will come and give it back to you." The guy sheepishly grinned at that.

I don't think I will ever wear it. I would probably wear it to a Hawaiian beach party if I ever get invited to one. But again if I do get invited, there is a high possibility that I won’t go. I do not like beaches. I am not saying that because I think it is cool to say 'I am not a sea person, you know.' (It actually is cool to say that, but not as cool as saying 'Boho', which is way cooler.)

The reason why I do not like beaches is basically because I hate the feel of sand under my feet. I hate the fact that the sand sticks to my feet and I end up carrying that to my room and then the room has sand all over and I can feel it under my feet again and...

You do understand what I am saying, don't you? I mean I am okay with the sea; it's the beach that I have a problem with. I love the mountains but going up the winding lanes to reach a mountain top almost always makes me sick.

So whenever people ask me where I like going for a holiday, I say, to a village. It is kind of funny that no-one has ever asked me if I would prefer a village by the seaside or in the mountains.

This post seriously makes no sense, but who cares. I am going to go ahead and publish this. And then I will be all boho, and sit and watch ‘Baby goes to the beach’ on Baby TV.


  1. these r a few of my favourite things about you miss Raut.

  2. This post is so totally you, that it makes complete sense to me! :D
    As for cable TV, we were the unlucky ones, weren't we! :(

    And I watched FTV too (architecture late nights that were meant for making archi models, not strutting around the middle of the night trying to walk like models! and importantly, I was thinnnnnnnnn...) Worse, I watched it all with the TV on mute and the radio playing Anuradha Paudwal's songs...! I was supposed to working late, right? :P

    1. :D :D Lunacy runs in the family!

    2. Its actually Badmaashi that runs in the family

  3. There are few occasions in your life when you dont know how and what to react, this is definitely one of them.
    Pagol bhalo koro Ma, Pagol bhalo koro!

  4. Nostalgia botei. Well written as always :D

    Btw Swat Kats aired in India after Cartoon Network came to existence in the country - the late 90s! ;)

    1. That is what I wrote. Cartoon Network - 1993. There was no way I would have seen it! :O

  5. You know, your random posts actually come out rather nice.

  6. I have actually burst out laughing at some points in this post.... awww, poor Diptee di!! I didn't you know you couldn't argue :( You should've just walked away from the shopkeeper...that's what we usually do. And tell them, "porbo toh aami! apni chup thakun toh.." these shopkeepers in Gariahat say almost anything to make you buy their stuff -_-

    The "friendship mail" was really funny too. We are actually talking about all the weird requests we keep getting from really strange people :D :D

    The only reason I used to watch cartoons is because of my brother and my sister. Now that I am older, I only provide company to my mum and my uncle when they watch a stray serial or too. I hardly ever get to watch television. So I used to download shows and watch them.

    I really don't miss the television much. Except for when my friends ask, "did you see this new song" or "this new movie"...I am a little lost. :P

    Pippo and other things take up time. Oh I have left you a rambling comment...and there's my mum shouting for Pippo. I better go see what my idiotic brother is up to now -__-"

    1. :D :D :D Aniesha, a tight hug for the long comment.

    2. *tight hug back, Diptee di* :D

      People usually take their dogs for a walk. Pippo took me for a walk... -_-"
      Just got back to my laptop again :P

  7. I love it! ABSO-FANTASTICO-LUTELY! :)

    Diptee di, this post is so genuine, and 'dil-se' that I could totally imagine you. Fashion TV was a shocker though - because I thought only guys had a fascination with the channel (but not since they moderated the channel for India) :P Swat Kats was one of my favorite cartoons! But it was also a male-centric show, so you not watching it is understandable. Although, had you listen to the hindi version of it (where MegaKat City became MahaBilla Nagari) you'd have remembered it forever..

    Its raining here (coupled with chilly wind and hailstorm) in Delhi, and your post gives a warm, nostalgic feeling!

    1. :D Thank you so much, D'man.
      I would have probably watched Swat Kats if I had access to it.
      And yes, Fashion TV... The ''f' in the diamond' icon... hmm.

  8. ahahahaha I lived my pat through this!!!
    And I remember catching my grandfather watch FTV :P
    And I like the funny pendant!!!

  9. Hahaha..... too good diptee... and yeah, I tried to show off and watched discovery channel and you know what happens there, every 10 mins a sex scene. Animals do have sex, it's just they call it mating and some intelligent people think it's education.

    I have still the same reason for a great laugh when my hubby asks my elder son to go and watch discovery or NGC... l
    it brings my young days back when I would ask my its only human who get kids from god and animals have to work hard for it ... ???

    Cable tv has all been same... poor FTV.. it gets the gaalis ... not fair

    1. :D Yeah, I am totally with you on the Discovery and NGC bit.

      "it's only human who get kids from god and animals have to work hard for it ... ??? " THAT made me laugh!


  10. Love ur post... so totally... and i love ranting posts... genuinely... coz i usually rant and i have been told over and over again that oh god, u rant and stop ranting and i can't help myself... your rantings are so true and genuinely sheepish at the same time Dipteeee... keep them coming...:-)

    1. :D Thanks, Madhavi. Yeah, rants are super fun, aren't they?

  11. before the cable tv arrived we had something called booster (guys correct me if the spelling is incorrect) antenna and that had enabled us watch programmes aired from Bangladesh, then there was something called dd3 where one could watch really good productions (mostly on astronomy and history, i was a history freak from my childhood)... the very first movie that i saw after we got a cable connection in 1993 (probably) was "Charmurti" adapted from Narayan Ganguli's Tenida stories, force ssm to read Tenida stories to you, you will like them, and then came Errol Flinn (Robin Hood), Gene Kelly (Singing in the Rain, The Three Musketeers), Charlton Heston (Ben Hur) and Humphrey Bugart (Casablanca)

  12. Loved the random words . Hmm .....FTV and pre
    FTV and post FTV that's what brings back oodles of memory.
    Well done.....and you can always pass on that neckpiece to me.....
    am loving it:)

    1. Thanks. Sure, you can have the neckpiece.

  13. Ranting post or not. It brought back memories. Oh FTV days. :D

    Lovely post.

    1. Thanks, DOTR. Yeah, I am glad I was not the only one hooked on to FTV :D


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