Shahrukh swag, Dabangg and steamy farts.

Winters huh! Yeah I am not too fond of them. I mean they are okay. A bit hyped actually. The only thing I like about winters is the Shahrukh Khan feel that it gives me every morning as I walk out of the bathroom. You know what I mean, right? That feeling, down there in that picture.

Yeah I give that Shahrukh Khan entry every time I walk out of the super steamy bathroom. Yup the swag and all...

I have noticed SSM give me a weird look every time I  make that classic entry from the bathroom to the bedroom. He is probably impressed at my swag. But actually he has been giving me that look ever since I took him to watch Dabangg 3. Rather, from the time I walked out of the theatre and shouted BEST. MOVIE. EVER. A lot of people gave me the look too. I am pretty sure they were overwhelmed by the cinema as well and it was a look of mutual admiration. Well. SSM has been giving me the look since then. I guess he is unable to express his awe. But I get him.

So well, 2020 resolution is to start blogging again. And here I am. And like all resolutions this may not stick around too... but I will try. Because crazy keeps happening.

It is not my fault really that I stopped blogging. When I was doing my day job, I had the laptop open in front of me and there was no other option than to blog. Because I rarely worked. Now that I am at home I don’t see the laptop and I don't blog. So I have asked SSM to switch on the laptop every morning. Not because I am lazy but because he needs to have some fun thing to do too, besides giving me the look.

The winters this year are seriously cold. Ri, Rai and I went for a walk last evening and we were steaming from our mouth. Ri was having fun blowing air from his mouth watching it steam. He then asked me, Ma would we see steam if I fart too. I kept staring at this butts all the time we were out. I am not sure if he did fart. But I was happy with the though of steaming farts.

It is Ri’s birthday today. He turns 9. Happy birthday, love and may the year be full of steamy sparkly farts.

I have a weird kid... But I guess that runs in the family.

Me: Hey how come they are teaching you eye parts in school already.
Ri: No they are not.
Me: So where did you learn to draw this?
Ri: Oh I saw it on your phone one day...
Me: Why? Why were you searching for parts of eyes?
Ri: (Shrugs) Just like that... For fun..
Me: For fun? FOR FUN?
Ri gave me a blank look.

I guess weird just runs in the family.

Also... Happy birthday, SSM.

How to become rich!

Ri: Ma, I have a plan!

Me: About what, Ri?

Ri: Ma, I have a super plan to make me rich!

Me: Really? I could do with that too! Tell me?

Ri: So mama, next time my tooth falls, I will plant it.

Me: Okay. How is that going to make you rich?

Ri: Maaaa (Eye roll!) It will grow into a teeth tree.

Me: And then?

Ri: I will pluck out a tooth from the tree every day and keep it under my pillow. Every day I get money from the tooth fairy. Forever.

Me: 😲!!!

Best Holiday Ever!

Five countries in ten days! Sounds crazy, right! Well that is what we did! AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE THE BEST HOLIDAY EVER!

It all started on an evening after a frustrating day at work. This was last month. Both SSM and I groaned and cribbed and kept saying that we need a break. So we started planning a holiday. To Gangtok, and then Himalayas, and then I don't know how but we started talking of Norway. And we decided that we had to go to Norway. A week later we were at the Visa office.

We had made up an itinerary after reading exactly three travelling blogs, to be submitted at the Visa office. We had no idea how we were planning this. Rather, we were not planning it at all. And then by the time the Visa came in we realised that we had two week before we traveled, we had no tickets, and we had no plan.

And so while we were not really for it, we started rummaging packaged tours and decided on one finally.

And it wasn't bad. Hectic? Yes. Satisfying? Hell, yes!

We visited Helsinki, Tallinn, Stockholm, Oslo, Bergen and Copenhagen. And we had a BLAST!

We got the best weather. We got snow and rain and sun and quilt shops! And we got to see what heaven looks like. And I won't write anymore. The pictures will say it all. <3 p="">

Sculpture at Oslo

Flowers everywhere

What dreams are made of! Norway

The houses and Fjords, Norway

Heaven in Norway

The houses in Bergen

I wish I lived in this. Bergen

Houses in Bergen

The Cherry Tree

Happiness

Paradise in Oslo

More flowers

The Cathedral in Helsinki

This seagull who loved the camera. Tallinn

An haunted castle at Tallinn. (Because almost everything here is haunted)

Paradise!

Published Again!

There was a time when I used to dream about being published. And then Writersmelon happened. They came up with a contest of short stories; I sent in my entry; and I got published. And it seemed wonderful.

And then they cam back with another contest. This time I sent in a last minute entry, without any hope. (Okay some hope, because I had really liked the story I submitted.) (Yeah okay, eye-roll as much as you like. I do enjoy my writing. Hmph!) So, well, this one got selected too and that is how... here I present... JUKEBOX  paparaparaaaaa!

Isn't it a lovely cover?!

Jukebox has a collection of some wonderful stories. Stories that will make you laugh, and cry, and scared, and feel silly, and whole lot of other emotions. It has stories written by some of the best writers I know of. And I know that because all of them write with passion and not with the aim of their writing being included a school textbook.

All the wonderful authors

So now I want you wonderful people to CLICK HERE. and go buy a copy of Jukebox. Buy it for yourself, buy it for gifting, or buy it because you like to buy books as home decor. JUST GO BUY IT!

And enjoy my story. And others too. But mainly mine. And let me know how you like it. :)

How cool is that!

Why I wasn't blogging.

The image was googled

I know. I haven’t been blogging much. And that is because… okay, so it is a weird sort of a thing that happened. Let me tell you about it in detail.

I was walking around the block one evening when I came across a small diversion that I hadn’t noticed earlier. Curious, I took to the lane and it reached a wall. So a blind lane it was. I turned around to get back to my usual path but it wasn’t there. No. Seriously. It just wasn’t there. I just hit a wall again.

Well, obviously, I panicked. I started shouting for help. HELP! But my voice just echoed in the blocked lane. I frantically started looking around for something. Something. I do not know what. Anything, like stones or waste coke cans that I could throw over the wall and get help, or some explosives that could bring the wall down, or a packet of chips because I was hungry. Well anything could have helped, but there was nothing.

I sat down exasperated. I wished I had carried my mobile phone so that I could call someone, or play ‘two dot’ (My current favourite game) but iguess i just had to wait. After what seemed like hours, I finally heard a slight swishing sound. I couldn’t figure out what it was. I could only hope it wasn’t cockroaches. Katasaridaphobia. Any other creature would have been fine. Luckily, it was another creature.

I realised that the swishing wasn’t coming in from ‘my’ lane. Nope. It was somewhere far away, up in the sky. Initially, I noticed a tiny speck. But as it flew closer, I was sure, it was IT. It. Was. A. Hippogriff. Seriously! No kidding.

It landed in ‘my’ lane and before I could understand I was tossed up in the air and I landed with a thud on its back. I clung on for dear life as it flew away with me.

The flight on the hippogriff was AMAZING. It’s one experience that will stay with me forever. Anyway, we flew over oceans and mountains and lands unheard of. (Mainly because I suck at geography. I am sure, you smart guys, would have heard of them.) And we finally reached what seemed to be a castle.

And I was excited because I thought I would be expected to slay dragons and save the handsome prince, but no, that happened only in fairy tales, apparently.

So I was dropped off, literally, at the gates of the castle and then escorted by men in helmets, not bike helmets, stupid, but the Viking kind of helmets. They took me to the guy, who I guessed was the king because they all bowed down to him. I bowed down too because that seemed appropriate.

He then said in a loud booming voice, “Me, the great Gaster Nomos, the lord of the Culinary, have heard from the messengers far and wide, that you, lady, can bake the best caramel, bread pudding ever created. I. NEED. TO. TASTE. IT.”

And that was it! I was guided to the kitchen that was as large as the Kolkata maidan and I had to start baking the pudding. It was ceremonious as music played and people danced around while I was baking it. I then plated it in a gold plate to serve it to Mr. Nomos. I stood there, tensed, hungry butterflies fluttering in my stomach, as I saw him scoop a bite and place it in his mouth. The music stopped, everyone around was quiet. Even the pins refused to drop, lest they might be heard. My heart stopped beating as he closed his eyes, tasted the pudding and then swallowed it down. He then opened his eyes and laughed. A loud wealthy laugh it was. And with him everyone present started laughing too. He called me over and held me warmly in his arms. The music started… the people danced… there was happiness everywhere.

The next day was spent teaching the chefs the recipe. And the next few day I had a holiday of a lifetime in the most beautiful land ever. I was then flown back on the hippogriff. It was kind to me during our return flight. And well, here I am. Blogging again.

And yeah, I wish all of that was true and laziness was not the only reason for me not blogging. But laziness is what it was. And the damn laziness was so bad that I did not even write a birthday post yesterday. I would kick myself in the butt if I was fit enough to do so.

So well, belated birthday wishes to me. This year will see more fun posts here on my blog. Promise.

Also one thing in the story up there was true. I do make the best caramel, bread pudding in the world. :D

See you soon.

The light of our life

His first word was dight (light) when we drove down to Park Street five years ago on a Christmas eve. His first ever word. No mama, no baba. Dight.

He kept saying dight for then next month or two every-time he saw a light. Tube light, candle light, wedding lights, moon light, sun light... Anything that shone was gleefully pointed at and squealed - dight.  And every time he did that our face shone with light too.

Our face lights up with happiness even today when he mentions with great gusto and enthusiasm what a light year implies, and that the sun is about eight light minutes away from the earth.

May the light travel with him always, wherever he goes. Happy birthday, baby. Love you to a million light years and back. 

Aabol Taabol

Ri: I think their names should be Tinky Winky
Me: Hmmm... How about Twiddledee Twiddledum?
SSM: Maybe Goldi and Locks?
Ri and Me: Baaaaabaaaaaa!
Ri: I think Nemo and Dory
Me: Hey guys, how about Aabol and Taabol
SSM: I like that. Aabol Taabol is good
Ri: Yup, I like it too. Aabol Taabol.

And Aabol Taabol it is. :)

Don't give up on fishes! They are super!

Vanyllope! The day he came home. Isn't he gorgeous!? 

Last year after we lost Nick, we got a new fish. We got Vanyllope (Named after Ri’s favourite character from Wreck-it-Ralph) on 5^th of December last year. Ri wanted a fish that looked exactly like Nick and Vany did look like him, except for the lovely blue shine that he (yes, Vanyllope is a boy fish) had all over him.

Vany has been a pretty happy fish, blowing bubbles, swimming away. And very soon he won my heart they way Nick had.

Last weekend I noticed him lying at the bottom of his jar. I tapped on the jar; no movement. I moved the jar, no movement again. I noticed that he hadn’t eaten his food either. I thought he died and I was really, really upset. But then I saw him feebly move his fins and swim a bit.

Vany looked different. He had lost all of that beautiful blue shine. He seemed all bloated and his eyes were bulging out.

Have you seen a fish so sad!?

SSM said he wouldn’t live anymore.

Unfortunately we do not have fish doctors around here.

I googled up the symptoms and most of them said that it could either be an infection or the fish was constipated. Well, I couldn’t just sit there and watch Vany die, so I did the sanest thing I could think of. I know, I know, sane and me do not go well together, anyway.

So the first thing was to change the infected water. Then I picked up Vany in a ladle (Poor thing so so unwell that he wasn’t even trying to struggle out of the spoon. I then took some gripe water in a dropper and fed a couple of drops to him. (Non-alcoholic gripe water)

I place him back in the jar with the fresh water and then I added a tiny bit of the powder from a Becosules capsule into the water. Because, well, B-complex = energy. And that is what Vany needed.

That was it. I had tried. Now it was just about waiting and watching. I kept checking on him every few minutes. Nothing. He seemed the same. Ri seemed worried too. He kept saying, that Vany is old and is going to die. He also wrote an entry in his diary about Vany.

Ri's diary entry - 'Vany is not well. She is a grandma now. Vany is old. We had given her gripe water and we had changed the water.' There is a picture of Vany lying on a bed there.

Next morning, first thing, I rushed to check on Vany. He was still down but seemed a little less bloated. Also the water was all hazy. I woke SSM and shouted, “OH MY GOD! Look what’s happening! Vany has been majorly farting hazy stuff!

SSM woke up with a start and screamed back, “WTF! Are you out of your mind”

Well, obviously Vany farting hazy gas was not a big deal for the man.

Anyway, I changed the hazy water again and gave Vany some fresh water. He refused to eat again today. But a few hours later I noticed that he was slowly swimming about a bit and sitting on the V of the plant in the jar to rest before going back to the bottom.

By the day end the bloating had come down.

Started moving about a bit

Next Day Vany was not bloated anymore but the colour was not back yet. No food again

The day after, Vany did eat a bit.

A day later, the shine did come back a bit.

Vany was fine.

He has been fine since the last two day. Eating his food fine. Not yet as active as he used to be. He does not flare his fins either when I show him a finger. Not show him a finger the way you show you finger to idiots. You do not do that to fishes. I mean, when I point a finger to him.

So he does not flare his fins when I do that anymore, yet, but that could just be because he realises now that I am his mommy.  

Three Conversations - One topic - Astronomy it is!

Ri and I are sitting at the dinner table, talking.

Ri: Mama, Mucky mucky is brown and seres is white, right?

Me: Umm, Who are these guys, some characters in a cartoon you have been watching?

Ri: (pause) (hard stare) Mama, they are the other planets in the Solar System!

Me: No, baby. Remember the Sun and the eight planets are what makes the solar system.

Ri: Na, Ma. There are five dorf planets in the solar system, Muckymucky, Seres, Eris, Pluto and Hameya. Also, Mama, It was because of Muckymucky that Pluto had to go out of the solar system.

And also there asteroids between Mars and Jupiter.

He had my attention now. This was new. I had no idea what he was talking about.

Me: Okay, let’s google it. (yeah, kick me hard for not believing him)

I googled for five dorf (turned out to be dwarf) planets, and there they were – Eris, Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, Ceres. And a proud mama I was!

That boy sure makes a wonderful teacher J <3 o:p="">

***

Another time... another conversation...

Ri: Mama, I can't wait to be an astronaut

Me: Well, That is great. Remember, you will have to study a lot to become an astronaut.

Ri: A lot of science?

Me: Yep, a whole lot of science.

Ri: As much as what Baba studies?

Me: Umm... Much more than what Baba studies.

(Pause)

Ri: As much as what Robi Dadu (Rabindranath Tagore) studied.

Me: (smiling) I guess so.

That boy sure has some parameters. :D

SSM was happy when he heard this - He said he feels 'arrived' in life if his son is placing him just below Robi Dadu. (rolls eyes)


***

And yet another time and another conversation.

Ri: Mama, I know what I want to be in life...

Me: And what is it?

Ri: A phuchka wala.

Me: That is lovely, Ri. You can be whatever you want. But I thought you wanted to be an Astronaut.

Ri: Yes.

Me: Then?

Ri: I will be an astronaut. I will go and find Pluto. I will get Pluto back into the Solar System. And then I will sell phuchkas on Pluto.

And that boy sure does have his priorities set right!

This post is not about tomatoes and bugs!

A tomato truck - amazing things from a holiday

We had a wonderful holiday last year, to Coorg. I just totally missed writing about it here till today. Because I have a bad memory and because I have been having a tough time writing. Also I have got lazier.

But I came across the photographs of the trip today and I remembered that I had meant to write about it. So here we are.

Coorg was great in a lot of ways - Our first family holiday to the southern part of the country, SSM’s first long drive to the hilly terrain… Oh and the crazy, spicy pork. Crazy because it was spicy to the extent that it could kill. Not crazy otherwise. More of a murderer. Crazy murderer.

But, two things in the trip really made the trip worth it’s worth. (Something totally crazy about that sentence too) So, I will talk of those two things specifically here.

We were taking a walk around the resort. It was huge. It was luscious. It was beautiful. It was doing to us what nature’s grandeur always does – mesmerising, rather more than that. We were enjoying the various shades of green and that is when we chanced upon this –

Snake eating snake - Awesomest thing ever!

This awesome snake was eating another snake. I mean, WOW! I think it is the most awesome thing I had ever seen. It was just brilliant to sit there and watch the snake gobble up another. I know that happens, but to see it happening is a sight that will be fondly etched to my mind forever. Ri loved watching it too. Only SSM seemed a little queasy seeing it. He is not particularly fond of snakes. So seeing a snake being eating should have made him happy. But then, he is a little weird.

I wanted to go searching for more snake eating snakes but SSM was already freaked out by the earlier snake and he dragged us to the room - which got us to this distracting sight –

The bed snake :|

Why? Why? Why? Seriously why would anyone do that towel art on our bed? What were they suggesting? So why did they have that, that towel sculpture of the tool on the bed. SSM and I stared at each other for a moment. Ri jumped on the bed and started showering the flowers all over.

Me: (in a hushed voice) I think we are giving out incorrect vibes to the resort people.

SSM: (in a hushed voice) I think you are incorrect and it is not what you think it is.

Me: (in a hushed voice) I think you are blind. It is so obvious.

SSM: (in a hushed voice) Let's just take the hint then.

Really… That was just too much snake for a day. Phew! :D

And one of my best holidays!

An extra picture of a bug because I love you guys for reading this crap.

And I need a holiday soon...!

I am not promoting Paperboat, but I love them.

Me: Hey we forgot to taste the Paperboat guava drink. Let’s try it now.

SSM: Okay

We sip it

SSM: hmmm a bit like paaka pyara (ripe guava) na, with mirchi!?

Me: It is not. It is like kacha pakka peru (Not so raw not so ripe guava) with mirchi.

SSM: It is OKAY!

Me: It is OKAY with the first sip. Gets better as you keep sipping it. Try.

SSM: Yeah, you are right. It is good.

Me: Reminds me of the pink peru we used to it when we were kids. I don’t think they grow them anymore. Sigh.

SSM: (sipping) hmmm.

Me: Hey, check this out… you can actually suck it in while keeping your head straight. You don’t have to roll your head back to take a gulp. This is so cool!

SSM: How does that matter?

Me: Of course it matters. This is like the whole things is a huge straw. It is like magic.

SSM: Sigh, it is science.

Me: Oh, Shut up. This is the awesomest thing ever. (awesomest should be a word) I mean you could be reading a book and drinking this. But you don’t have to shift your glance away to take a sip. You can just read and suck at the same time. You don’t even have to pour it in a glass and use a straw anymore.

SSM: When do you ever use a glass and a straw to drink something while reading!?

Me: I don’t, but I could. And now I don’t have to. I have to tell the Paperboat guys about my wonderful realisation about their bottles. They should totally send me free drinks for bringing out this super USP for their product.

SSM: They do that anyway, weirdo!

Me: That’s true too. Yeah. But I love the Paperboat guys. 

***

In the meanwhile, check this awesome little short film that they have come out with. :)

A birthday gift.

There are days when life springs upon you some beautiful gift. No, I am not trying to get philosophical here. I am talking about real material gifts. Yeah, that happens.

And it happened to me a few days ago…

Remember my aunt, Mummy. You can read about her here.

Well, a few couple of months ago I had visited my parents in Bombay. Every time that I go to Bombay, my mother brings out some thing or the other that she would have stored away years ago and now doesn't know what to do with it. (Which is a lie. She, just like all mothers, want to give away all the lovely things that she has ever stored (and that is quite a bit) away to her daughters.)

So this time around she climbed up to a loft in the house and bought out something wrapped in newspaper. Mummy had got this for her from Japan, she told me, as she unwrapped the newspaper. Out came the most pretty looking, white, with pink cherry blossom, ceramic jar.

“Do you want this”, she asked. 

I? Of course I do. It was one of the daintiest thing I would ever own.

“Are you sure, you don’t want it”, I asked her. Already knowing the answer. It is always the same after all – No, I have a lot of jars.

So there I was admiring it. I opened the lid. The inside was stuffed with newspaper too. I let that be, closed the lid, wrapped it in the newspaper again and packed it in my bag immediately.

Back home I kept the jar safe in a cupboard. A few day ago, I suddenly remembered about the jar and fetched it to store some orange drops. 

As I got the stuffed newspaper out from the jar, it seemed unusually heavy to me. Prying through it carefully, I stumbled upon this.

This. Most. Gorgeous. Glass. Pendant. Ever.

I just held it in my palm for a while. I was love at first sight. It was BEAUTIFUL.

I then called up my mother and asked her if Mummy ever mentioned the pendant to her. She said no, which was weird because Mummy was not the sorts who would forget to mention something like this.

So I don’t know, if that pendant was ever meant to be mine, or if it was a mistake. But I know one thing that it is my most beloved thing for the moment and I am not going to part with it.

So if anyone else in the family is reading this, don’t you dare come claiming and asking for it, because I am not giving it to you.

I will take it as my birthday gift from mummy and wear it all day today as I celebrate 35 years of life. I was, after all, her favourite niece.

Happy birthday to me. :)

Brown paper packages tied up with strings...

Happiness

These guys literally sweep me off my feet. Well, okay, not literally. They would end up with a broken back if they did that. And that wouldn’t be nice because I will not get any more goodies from them. Oh. My. God. They have spoilt me and I don’t want the goodies to stop coming.

It is nothing but sheer joy when at the end of a tiring day the security guard rings your doorbell and hands you a brown paper package tied up with string. You just know that it has to be one of your favourite things inside.

And out comes a note that fills you with warmth and nostalgia along with a book. A favourite book. A book you lapped up when you were a kid and had been meaning to read again for years now.

Oh Happiness!

Thank you, Paper Boat people. Just don’t stop being awesome. Ever.

***

More about what they gave me here and here.

Music

We are in the car and the music is on

Ri: Baba, play that Kali song

SSM: Which song?

Ri: Kali song.

SSM: Kali song!?

Me: (to SSM) I did not know that you had Shyama Sangeet (a genre of Bengali devotional songs dedicated to the Hindu goddess Kali) uploaded on the stereo. When did that happen?

SSM: I do not have Shyama Sangeet on the memory stick.

Me: Which Kali song Ri?

Ri: Umm, that Kali song which is on no. 30 (Yeah, he usually remembers the numbers to his favourite songs)

SSM tunes in to no. 30

And the ‘Kali’ song begins…

Masakali Masakali... Udd matakali matakali

K

***

We, as parents are pretty happy with Ri's choice in music. His current favourites are Goonja sa hai koi iktara, Babuji dheere chalna, Meet namila re mann ka and of course Masakali.

The other day he insisted on carrying the memory stick to his grandmas place so that he could listen to the songs there.

J

He is five already.

Let's stay crazy always.

He used to cry when he got annoyed. Now he uses words like 'eeyu', 'yikes', 'yup' and 'nopes'.

He used to stare at me in wonder when I would tell him stories. Now he tells me, "Mama, don't say shit/damn. It's a bad word"

He used to gurgle when I would sing lullabies to him. Now he recognises songs by their prelude.

I used to hold and rock him to pacify his crying. Now he wipes my eyes if he sees me in tears.

Oh, he has grown up. And grown so soon.

He dances to Mama Mia with me. He tells me stories. He sings me songs. He fights with me, he argues.

He tells me, " Mama you've got it wrong. You don't know anything." And then, again, he tells me, "Mama, WOW, you are super"

He crafts with me and works my sewing machine like a pro, almost. (He remembers that I promised him two years ago that he can use my sewing machine when he turns five. He reminded that to me this morning.)

He makes me cry and he makes me laugh. He makes me feel like a goddess, and sometimes a demon. He makes me feel safe and then makes me worry like hell.

But he always has and always will make me feel awesome.

Love you, baby. And a very happy birthday to you.


PS. Please dance with me to Mama Mia always. Or till I turn 92.

How Paperboat added awesomeness to my Diwali

No, Paperboat has not asked me to write this post. But I will, because I love those guys.

So a long time ago, this is what happened. They sent me drinks to review. I enjoyed the drinks but forgot to review. Then they sent me a book - the lovely - Three men in a Boat. So I felt very warm and a little guilty and I reviewed them.

All this was a long time ago.

And now suddenly this arrived at my mail a week before Diwali and had me jumping with joy.



Happy box



A tin box loaded with awesomeness

The moment I opened the box, the awesome scent of the hay got me totally heady. The box contained two post cards, a magnet, two laddoos and two packs of their newest drink, Anar. Also a lovely letter.

The whole presentation was so festive and warm that it instantly took me to my childhood. I that is what their idea was - the tin box was supposed to make you nostalgic

Click on the picture to enlarge it and read those lovely words.

And the Anar drink. I havent had anything so delicious and refreshing for a long long time. The laddoos were yum too.

And the tin box. well that obviously has snuggled itself in my sewing shelf.

adding to my beautiful clutter

Thank you Paperboat guys. Thanks for adding that smile to my Diwali. :)

***

Read more about them here - http://paperboatdrinks.com/