Shahrukh swag, Dabangg and steamy farts.

Winters huh! Yeah I am not too fond of them. I mean they are okay. A bit hyped actually. The only thing I like about winters is the Shahrukh Khan feel that it gives me every morning as I walk out of the bathroom. You know what I mean, right? That feeling, down there in that picture.

Yeah I give that Shahrukh Khan entry every time I walk out of the super steamy bathroom. Yup the swag and all...

I have noticed SSM give me a weird look every time I  make that classic entry from the bathroom to the bedroom. He is probably impressed at my swag. But actually he has been giving me that look ever since I took him to watch Dabangg 3. Rather, from the time I walked out of the theatre and shouted BEST. MOVIE. EVER. A lot of people gave me the look too. I am pretty sure they were overwhelmed by the cinema as well and it was a look of mutual admiration. Well. SSM has been giving me the look since then. I guess he is unable to express his awe. But I get him.

So well, 2020 resolution is to start blogging again. And here I am. And like all resolutions this may not stick around too... but I will try. Because crazy keeps happening.

It is not my fault really that I stopped blogging. When I was doing my day job, I had the laptop open in front of me and there was no other option than to blog. Because I rarely worked. Now that I am at home I don’t see the laptop and I don't blog. So I have asked SSM to switch on the laptop every morning. Not because I am lazy but because he needs to have some fun thing to do too, besides giving me the look.

The winters this year are seriously cold. Ri, Rai and I went for a walk last evening and we were steaming from our mouth. Ri was having fun blowing air from his mouth watching it steam. He then asked me, Ma would we see steam if I fart too. I kept staring at this butts all the time we were out. I am not sure if he did fart. But I was happy with the though of steaming farts.

It is Ri’s birthday today. He turns 9. Happy birthday, love and may the year be full of steamy sparkly farts.

I have a weird kid... But I guess that runs in the family.

Me: Hey how come they are teaching you eye parts in school already.
Ri: No they are not.
Me: So where did you learn to draw this?
Ri: Oh I saw it on your phone one day...
Me: Why? Why were you searching for parts of eyes?
Ri: (Shrugs) Just like that... For fun..
Me: For fun? FOR FUN?
Ri gave me a blank look.

I guess weird just runs in the family.

Also... Happy birthday, SSM.

Why I wasn't blogging.

The image was googled

I know. I haven’t been blogging much. And that is because… okay, so it is a weird sort of a thing that happened. Let me tell you about it in detail.

I was walking around the block one evening when I came across a small diversion that I hadn’t noticed earlier. Curious, I took to the lane and it reached a wall. So a blind lane it was. I turned around to get back to my usual path but it wasn’t there. No. Seriously. It just wasn’t there. I just hit a wall again.

Well, obviously, I panicked. I started shouting for help. HELP! But my voice just echoed in the blocked lane. I frantically started looking around for something. Something. I do not know what. Anything, like stones or waste coke cans that I could throw over the wall and get help, or some explosives that could bring the wall down, or a packet of chips because I was hungry. Well anything could have helped, but there was nothing.

I sat down exasperated. I wished I had carried my mobile phone so that I could call someone, or play ‘two dot’ (My current favourite game) but iguess i just had to wait. After what seemed like hours, I finally heard a slight swishing sound. I couldn’t figure out what it was. I could only hope it wasn’t cockroaches. Katasaridaphobia. Any other creature would have been fine. Luckily, it was another creature.

I realised that the swishing wasn’t coming in from ‘my’ lane. Nope. It was somewhere far away, up in the sky. Initially, I noticed a tiny speck. But as it flew closer, I was sure, it was IT. It. Was. A. Hippogriff. Seriously! No kidding.

It landed in ‘my’ lane and before I could understand I was tossed up in the air and I landed with a thud on its back. I clung on for dear life as it flew away with me.

The flight on the hippogriff was AMAZING. It’s one experience that will stay with me forever. Anyway, we flew over oceans and mountains and lands unheard of. (Mainly because I suck at geography. I am sure, you smart guys, would have heard of them.) And we finally reached what seemed to be a castle.

And I was excited because I thought I would be expected to slay dragons and save the handsome prince, but no, that happened only in fairy tales, apparently.

So I was dropped off, literally, at the gates of the castle and then escorted by men in helmets, not bike helmets, stupid, but the Viking kind of helmets. They took me to the guy, who I guessed was the king because they all bowed down to him. I bowed down too because that seemed appropriate.

He then said in a loud booming voice, “Me, the great Gaster Nomos, the lord of the Culinary, have heard from the messengers far and wide, that you, lady, can bake the best caramel, bread pudding ever created. I. NEED. TO. TASTE. IT.”

And that was it! I was guided to the kitchen that was as large as the Kolkata maidan and I had to start baking the pudding. It was ceremonious as music played and people danced around while I was baking it. I then plated it in a gold plate to serve it to Mr. Nomos. I stood there, tensed, hungry butterflies fluttering in my stomach, as I saw him scoop a bite and place it in his mouth. The music stopped, everyone around was quiet. Even the pins refused to drop, lest they might be heard. My heart stopped beating as he closed his eyes, tasted the pudding and then swallowed it down. He then opened his eyes and laughed. A loud wealthy laugh it was. And with him everyone present started laughing too. He called me over and held me warmly in his arms. The music started… the people danced… there was happiness everywhere.

The next day was spent teaching the chefs the recipe. And the next few day I had a holiday of a lifetime in the most beautiful land ever. I was then flown back on the hippogriff. It was kind to me during our return flight. And well, here I am. Blogging again.

And yeah, I wish all of that was true and laziness was not the only reason for me not blogging. But laziness is what it was. And the damn laziness was so bad that I did not even write a birthday post yesterday. I would kick myself in the butt if I was fit enough to do so.

So well, belated birthday wishes to me. This year will see more fun posts here on my blog. Promise.

Also one thing in the story up there was true. I do make the best caramel, bread pudding in the world. :D

See you soon.

The light of our life

His first word was dight (light) when we drove down to Park Street five years ago on a Christmas eve. His first ever word. No mama, no baba. Dight.

He kept saying dight for then next month or two every-time he saw a light. Tube light, candle light, wedding lights, moon light, sun light... Anything that shone was gleefully pointed at and squealed - dight.  And every time he did that our face shone with light too.

Our face lights up with happiness even today when he mentions with great gusto and enthusiasm what a light year implies, and that the sun is about eight light minutes away from the earth.

May the light travel with him always, wherever he goes. Happy birthday, baby. Love you to a million light years and back. 

He is five already.

Let's stay crazy always.

He used to cry when he got annoyed. Now he uses words like 'eeyu', 'yikes', 'yup' and 'nopes'.

He used to stare at me in wonder when I would tell him stories. Now he tells me, "Mama, don't say shit/damn. It's a bad word"

He used to gurgle when I would sing lullabies to him. Now he recognises songs by their prelude.

I used to hold and rock him to pacify his crying. Now he wipes my eyes if he sees me in tears.

Oh, he has grown up. And grown so soon.

He dances to Mama Mia with me. He tells me stories. He sings me songs. He fights with me, he argues.

He tells me, " Mama you've got it wrong. You don't know anything." And then, again, he tells me, "Mama, WOW, you are super"

He crafts with me and works my sewing machine like a pro, almost. (He remembers that I promised him two years ago that he can use my sewing machine when he turns five. He reminded that to me this morning.)

He makes me cry and he makes me laugh. He makes me feel like a goddess, and sometimes a demon. He makes me feel safe and then makes me worry like hell.

But he always has and always will make me feel awesome.

Love you, baby. And a very happy birthday to you.


PS. Please dance with me to Mama Mia always. Or till I turn 92.

Birthday giveaway - awesome totes!

It is my birthday again. Yay!

And this year for my birthday I have decided to be extremely generous and do a giveaway on my blog. :D

I have put in all my heart and soul and love and made these four grocery totes. So some lucky four people will get to flaunt them.

I have also made these totes because I like a good environment and I want to urge people to stop using plastic bags.

So basically I am an awesome person.

Here is a picture of the totes again - to lure you – simple rules to follow and you could be a proud owner of one of these.

1.  Post a comment on this post saying good things about me because I am a narcissist and I love reading good things about me. Also make a promise on the comment that you will refrain from using plastic grocery bags and use these instead.
2. Like my Facebook page because I wish to start getting popular. K  
3. Follow my blog. Come on that is not too difficult, right? And you guys don’t want to miss the giveaways that I host again.
4. Optional – Sing “bharon, maang meri bharon” in your most sensual voice, record it and send it to me on my mail id mentioned on my “About me" page. This is because I can do with some smiles on my birthday. Though this is optional, I would love it. And just be happy I haven't asked to do the Mamata Kulkarni moves, record it and send it to me.
5. Totally optional and only if you really feel like it – Share this post on your Facebook page.

 
      So there you go! Easy!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This giveaway ends on 12^th April. I will be choosing the winners in an extremely fair manner through the Rafflecopter lucky winner random selection. The winners will be announced on my blog on 13^th April.

Good luck!

Four, and he melts my heart.

I was dropping Ri to school in a cycle rickshaw the other day and then – this conversation:

Ri: Mama, will you stay in my house.

Mama: Which house, Ri?

Ri: When I grow big and then when you grow small and I have a house, will you stay in my house?

Mama: Yes, I will stay in your house.

Ri: I will love you loads when you stay in my house.

Melts my heart.

***

When I heard the news of my aunt passing away, I started crying in the bedroom and that is when Ri walked in. He stared at me for a while and then – this conversation:

Ri: Mama, are you crying?

I nodded my head.

Ri: Mama, why are you crying?

Mama: I am crying because I am sad about something.

Ri:  (wiping my tears with his little hands, and holding my hand) Mama, cholo, let’s play with my train set. You will feel fine then.

Melts my heart

***

You are four years today, little one. You are really small and yet you can comfort me like no one can with conversations as these.

Yes, playing with the train set did make me feel better.

Yes, I really want you to grow big and have a lovely house of your own.

And no, I will not stay with you in that house because when you move out to your own house, I plan to turn your room into a sewing studio for myself. :| :D

Love you a lot and love you forever, baby. A very happy birthday to you. Just stay happy. Always. 

It's today my special day!

I woke up this morning singing this:

It is the only song that comes to my mind when I think of birthday. No it is not because it is cute. Rather, it is extremely annoying but it is a song that I listen to every single day.   

Well, motherhood. Sigh! Test me on any episode of Chhota Bhim or any show on Baby TV and I would win it hands down.

I usually have a 99% hit rate on birthday resolutions. From my last year’s resolutions the only one I did not achieve was to learn to drive the car. Wait! That was the only resolution I had last year! Damn! 

Anyway, no more resolutions this year. No, there is one - I will spend less time on Facebook. Seriously. Absolutely serious. I swear!

So back to the more important thing… IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY. I totally love my birthday.

 A hug, a kiss and a wish from Ri makes it even more special. And then a wonderful gift from SSM – A CD with a collection of my favourite songs sung by SSM and Ri bring in tears to my eyes.

And that is when I decide that I will dedicate my birthday post this year to all the gifts I got. :D

Yeah, yeah! I know you've read it all on my Facebook. Stop sniggering!

So this awesome trilogy that Soumya sent, came in as a lovely surprise! I was really touched.

And then I got this anonymous package with four Miss. Marple movies. I was thrilled beyond words in believing that I had a secret admirer. I did get to know later who sent it. L And no, it was not a secret admirer. But, I obliviated the memory of who gave it to me and I will keep believing for the rest of my life that it indeed was a secret admirer.

My bestie and soul sister, D gave me this lovely saree and opal earrings. I just love saying opal earrings because I really do not know what opal means. But that is what it is – Opal and silver earrings.

The saree and the earrings given by D

Disha Doshi made my day at work this morning by gifting me this old, old, OLD awesomeness named Heathcliff and totally frame worthy newspaper write-up on the 100 years of Indian cinema.

Stu gave this lovely jute bag and a pair of earrings. 

She also promised to apply florescent orange nail polish on my finger nails.Here's a picture of the nails. I would one day write an entire post on Stu's nails and nail art. They are always extremely intriguing.

 

freaky orange nails

And then there was the cake and all those hugs and more awesomeness.  

So now, I am just going to go ahead and publish this post. If there is any more excitement and more gifts I am just going to update it here.

The blank space below is for more gift update.  (Gosh, optimism should be my middle name. But that is how I am, a little freaky on birthday days. I shall get back to being normal tomorrow.)

< The writing in a different colour means that this has been updated later - Here is a lovely gift by Jit - a book and a sweet little note that says chocolate is not fattening on your birthday. Sigh!  - Thanks a ton. 

            > 

But seriously, if there is something that really need to thank the Universe for, it is the awesome lot of family and friends who totally grin sheepishly at my craziness and spoil me rotten!

Love you all. Happy Birthday to me! :D

PS - I am 33 today! Just saying!
PPS - Pink is the newest favourite colour :|

A little bit of Ri...

Ri – The fan

Ri on his toy telephone: Hello, How are you? I am fine?

Mama: Kar shonge kotha bolcho, Ri? (Whom are you speaking with?)

Ri: Dev (The Tollywood actor)

Mama: Dev ki tomar friend? (Is Dev a friend of yours?)

Ri: Hyaan (Yes)

Mama: Ki bollo Dev tomake? (So what did Dev have to say to you?)

Ri (thinks for a moment and sings): … Paabi na amar moto,pagla bajare. Tui amar hero, tui amar hero, tui amar hero, baki sab zerooo! (one of Dev's songs.)

***

Ri – The grandpa.

I am lying down next to Ri trying to get him to sleep. I stretch my hand to keep my phone on the shelf at the head of my bed but manage to drop it behind the bed instead.

Mama (On the phone being dropped): Oh Damn! (I try not to use wrong words in front of Ri but they do escape sometime)

Ri: Ki hoyeche, Mama. Bolo, Ki hoyeche (Mama, what happened?)

Mama: Phone pore geyeche. (The phone has fallen down)

Ri: Phele diyecho? Ki kore phele diyecho? (You dropped it? How did you manage to do that?)

Mama: Ei raakhte giye pore gelo? (It fell down as I was trying to keep it on the shelf)

Ri: Theek achche, kaal shakaale uthe ami ber kore debo. Ekhun tumi ghumo. Abar phelbe na, theek achche, nahale ami khub bokbo. (It’s okay. I will wake up in the morning and get it out for you. Now sleep. And do not drop it again else I will really scold you.)

Mama: (meekly) Sorry, Ri and thank you.

***

Ri – The know all

Ri takes out two t-shirts from the cupboard and insists on wearing them both.

Ri: Ami eta o porbo ar eta o porbo. (I will wear this and this)

Mama: Na, Ri. Nobody wears two t-shirts. Wear this – your favourite angry bird t-shirt

Ri: Na. Angry bird and Chhota Bheem t-shirt. Duto porbo. (I will wear both)

Mama: Na, Ri. Please eta poro. (wear this)

Ri: Duto porbo. Porbo. Porbo. Porbo. Porbo.

Mama: FINE. Duto poro.

(I make him wear both the t-shirts as he gives me the triumphant look.)

After a pause.

Ri: Mama, kal jano Shoma didi (Ri’s baby sitter) eshe ki bolbe? (Mama, do you know what Shoma didi will say tomorrow morning)

Mama: Ki? (What?)

Ri: Tumi bolo (You tell me)

Mama: Jani na. Tumi bolo ki bolbe Shoma didi (I don’t know. You tell me what will Shoma didi say.)

Ri (In a shrill voice imitating Shoma, and imitating her really well): Eeeeii maa. Kii koriish Ei ki, tui duto jama porechiis? (ei maa, you are wearing two t-shirts) (Translation does not give the right effect here. L)

Mama bursts out laughing.

***

Ri - The clown (this one cannot be translated)

Ri is up to some mischief being stubborn and not listening to his Thammi (grandma)

Thammi (annoyed): Ar kotha shunibi na toh, toke ar kichchu bollar nei, kichchu bolbo na.

Ri looks at Thammi for a moment and then starts singing: Ki kore toke bolbo, tui je amaar...

***

Happy 3rd Birthday, my little one.